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Well then... greetings for the last time.  
08:01pm 10/02/2008
Lady Disdain
I'm officially retiring this journal.

I have a new one now:

Feel free to add me. Or don't. It's up to you. I promise I update regularly. :-)

This journal will continue to exist, but will not be updated anymore.

Sorry I've been so AWOL. Like I said, though, I update my new LJ every day and such.


-   Change of pace.

-   I feel like apocalypse2012 isn't really a username that reflects me very well anymore.

-   I associate this journal with a certain time in my life, and I feel like I've grown and changed a lot since then. I.E., I've grown since I was 16, and those were not particularly good times. I've been trying to kind of piece myself back together. I don't necessarily have bad associations with this journal; it's quite the contrary. It's just that I feel like my life has improved  (overdose hospitalization notwithstanding).

- I'd been considering switching journals for ages. I've even had a couple anonymous side journals for certain things I didn't want people knowing about. I also tried to switch journals a year or two ago, and it didn't quite work out.

So basically... if you like me, read my journal when I updated it in the past, etc., please add me! If not, that's okay too.

Emilie aka apocalypse2012 aka narwhalelectric
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Wow... long time, no blog.  
06:18pm 10/12/2007
Lady Disdain
So much to say! I'll do bullet points.


- I'm considering moving in with Scot in a little over a month. Big step? Yes. But I'm prepared for it. Don't know what the 'rents will think... but oh well.

- For the record, I'm 18 now.

- School sucks and is stressful.

- I'm applying to colleges now; my top choices, in order, are University of Southern Mississippi, Loyola University New Orleans, and University of West Florida.
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12:21pm 25/08/2007
Lady Disdain
I've had to explain to several people in the last couple weeks what Narwhals are. Thus, I will endeavor to educate you all.

Narwhals are arctic whales with unicorn horns growing out of their noses. They're pointy! ^_^. They live in the Arctic, in such places as Canadia and Greenland.

*I'm LJ-cutting all the pictures because they're huge and Rich Text Mode isn't working for me lately, so I can't really resize*
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Soooo cute! ^_^ I <3 narwhals.

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National Geographic's narwhal pictures. You may notice that even when they're bloody and decapitated, they still look like they're smiling.

Okay, that's enough narwhals.

Random realization: I actually LIKE doing homework on Saturdays. It gives me something to do instead of sit around and be bored. Also it gets me computer usage. My brother balks a lot, but since I have a shitload of homework (from IB) and he never has any (because around here, high schools honors/gifted programs are a joke), I have dibs. I'm technically done with my IB Geography homework, but I'm hesitant to leave the computer. Why? Because my bro will get on it (and delete all my stuff... which reminds me that I need to email my mom about that) as soon as I leave, and I shan't have it again until at least 11 PM, at which point my mom will be asleep in the adjacent room and it will be too late to get on, so I won't really have it unless I can grab it tomorrow before 11 AM or so.
mood: awakeawake
music: my six-year-old brother practicing the violin... 0.o
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08:45pm 04/08/2007
Lady Disdain
I got a vampire freaks account. My username is lethal_nymphet. If you have an account, please add me, for I am lonely.

I got an account because legend has it that the site has great emo-kid lulz potential. So far, so good. I derive obscene joy and amusement from reading terrible netspeak poetry by 14-year-old emo kids who think they're deep because their boyfriend cheated on them. I'm a sick bastardette. "Draining with each swipe of your knife/You sink to the floor with regret for your life./Your acidy hate runs down and stains your cheeks,/Black hearts will drain." LOL!!!!! I am highly amused. The poem that came from is actually one of the better ones.
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Sorry you guys!  
03:05pm 26/07/2007
Lady Disdain
I'm really, really sorry I've been AWOL for so long now. Using a CGI proxy every time I go to LJ is a pain in the ass... I'm at work right now, so I don't have that problem. Sigh... anyways, I hope everyone's doing okay. My life's been pretty static. I haven't started on my EE yet... I'm doomed, lol. I'm out of Wellbutrin, so I feel like shit.

Also... any new people... tell me something about yourself. :-)
mood: depresseddepressed
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This day keeps getting worse...  
10:29pm 02/07/2007
Lady Disdain
So... I'm listening to what is, to me, the saddest song ever. Some of NIN's songs are just depressing (in a beautiful and tragic way). This one is number one. "Hurt" is sad too, but more in an angry/self-destructive way... like, you relate to it if you cut yourself (which I do). "Right Where It Belongs" is also rather sobering, but in an existential way.
"And All That Could Have Been" has the potential to make me cry, if I hear it at a certain time, when I'm in a certain mood. (That only happened once... I don't cry all that easily).

LyricsCollapse )

Video/SongCollapse )
Just listen to the song. Ignore the anime fan video (although I will readily admit that Sephiroth is hot).

Now that you're sufficiently depressed...
Apparently there's a small chance that Scott might not move. I don't know how much chance there is... but there is a chance. Which I suppose gives me some sort of vague glimmering of hope.
Emily Dickenson described hope as a little songbird that sits on your shoulder. I see hope as more like a house of cards that you build up for yourself. For me, hope is more of a fragile thing than Dickenson's persistent songbird.
music: Nine Inch Nails, "And All That Could Have Been"
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Rant Time!!! :-D  
03:14pm 30/06/2007
Lady Disdain
I do not understand young teenage boys. I'm talking about the ones that are like 14 or 15. Why is it that a girl can tell them, to their face, that they are NOT interested in them emotionally, but the guy will still be completely and utterly convinced that he and the aformentioned girl are star-crossed lovers meant to be together forever and ride off into the sunset? It just baffles me! Ugh... kids these days... lol.
mood: annoyedannoyed
music: Pandora
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Ugh... shitty stuff...  
09:25am 23/06/2007
Lady Disdain
I'm back from France. Sorry I've been AWOL. If you wanna know about the trip... www.blog.myspace.com/poetessmaudite.

Oh. Em. Gee. I am pissed. One of my ex's friends stole my laptop. So, my 'rents had told Bobby to not bring anyone in the house while they were gone... but he apparently fucked his little bimbo fuck buddy on my brother's bed. My mom found the condoms in his room... he had gone through my lingerie drawer to get them and messed it up after my mom had organized it. And you know what I found this morning? So, I was going through my lingerie drawer to get out a bra and panties (you know, somehow the word "panties" strikes me as innately profane... ^_~) and you know what I found? Three g-strings that WEREN'T MINE. They weren't even my size. And one of them was kinda stained (ewwwwwww!!!!), so I knew they weren't like, new ones my mom had bought me or anything. DISGUSTING. I am uber-pissed right now. EWWWW.
music: The Pussycat Dolls, "Wait a Minute"
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Owww... my feet...  
05:51pm 04/06/2007
Lady Disdain

Saw the Musèe des Beaux-Arts today. It was pretty cool. There was this really creepy 10-foot-tall painting of a baby being circumcised though... eww. We did a tour of the architecture of Dijon... soooooo boooooring!!!!!!! I love art and architecture was pretty cool, but... ugh. It was terribly hot and humid outside, and my feet were killing me. They're all blistered and nasty because the shoes I wore the first day chafed like hell. I wore fishnets and six-inch heels today.... good stuff, lol. I love my new fishnets. I drank half a glass of European beer today. I forgot what it was... but it was really good. Speaking of beer... omg... Ashley was soooo hung over! LoL. She had drunk like five glasses of champagne last night at dinner. Poor dear... twas funny though, if only because she seems so innocent. Except for Chirs and I, all the students on this trip don't drink and have no tolerance for alchohol. Oh, the hilarity that shall ensue! *devious laugh*

Anyhow, today was good. Tomorrow I'm going to try to do some shopping. I need some shirts; I didn't bring nearly enough. I'm probablmy going to hit up H&M and Jennyfer. I'm going to the supermarket too, to get French drugstore candy for my brothers. Ah, delicious Carambars....

mood: hothot
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09:36pm 03/06/2007
Lady Disdain

Today was Mother's Day in France. I woke up at 11 AM because I'm still fucked up from the jetlag. It was a beautiful spring day (it's spring here, not summer), and I took a bunch of pictures of their super-adorable cat, Orion, in the garden. Then, we ate dinner (or lunch... whatev). Apparently, in additon to being fluffy and adorable, bunny rabbits are tasty little fuckers. Then, another family came ver for coffee. Said family is housing another one of the studnets. His name is Chris and he lives in Lafeyette, Louisiana. After coffee, we went out to walk around Dijon and check out a local art festival. The art was cool... lots of pantings and sculptures of feet, for some reason... 0.o .

Now for ye Anecdote of Interest. C'est drole; ça. So, we were in the area of the cathedral, and Chris was like "Do you smoke? I was wondering... I saw you drawing a mushroom in class yesterday." I laughed and was like "Nah. I will in college. I have friends that smoke and I'm around it sometimes, but I dont't. Do you?" And he was like "Yeah." And I was like cool, cool, at least someone else here isnt so innocent they freaking glow in the dark. Then he asked me if any of the other kids on the trip do... and I lmao'd. I was like "You're kidding, right? Lemme tell you something: I'm fairly open and a little crazy sometimes, but everyone else here are churchgoing innocent virgin types." And he was like "Oh. I found some, and I wanted to make a little money." Apparently he got some pot the other day from some French stoner kids. Lmao!!! He needs to be careful with that though; I'm pretrty sure you can get kicked out for that. Still, it's cool to know that at least one other person here isn't so innocent that I feel like I'd burst into flames if I touched them.

Anyways, we had tea at their place and then returned chez nous. We accidentaly left a candle burning so when we got back the place was filled with smoke. It was okay, though. Burned a hole in the table cloth; but that was pretty much it. For dinner we had this kind of pot-pie-ish thing. Twas good. My French family asked me if it's true that people in America eat squirrel. LoL!

Aaaaand that's pretty much it. Tomorrow I have school again (yes, my parents paid $4000 so I could go to school in the summmer).We visit the Musée des Beaux-Arts, which should be interesting. Hopefully I'll actually wake up on time tomorrow. Friday I woke up late. Stupid jetlag.



mood: contentcontent
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